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Dating 101

This group is for women who are currently or who want to start dating. Divorced, widowed, never been married? Here you will get the tools to date with success and to find the love of your life right now! You have questions on dating outside your race, dating men with children, or just how to "get noticed" by a man then this is the group for you!

Website: http://alashabennett.com
Members: 2
Latest Activity: Nov 29, 2011

Discussion Forum

New Book Discussion

Started by Alasha Bennett. Last reply by Alasha Bennett Nov 10, 2011. 1 Reply

  Join…Continue

Spiritual Views

Started by Alasha Bennett Nov 9, 2011. 0 Replies

How important is spirituality in a committed relationship? How can a relationship be successful when both parties have different spiritual views?Continue

Casual Dating

Started by Alasha Bennett Nov 9, 2011. 0 Replies

When casually dating what is an acceptable number of prospects you would consider dating at one time? There seems to be a social standard for men vs woman on this issue where when we are dating more…Continue

Such a turn off!

Started by Alasha Bennett Nov 9, 2011. 0 Replies

What would someone do on a first date to turn you off??Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Alasha Bennett on November 29, 2011 at 12:25pm

Have you ever said this statement to yourself….

 Single Myth #3

“I have to lower my expectations if I ever want to be with someone”

There is someone who possesses all the qualities you admire and require for you to continue to grow into the person you are committed to becoming. There is no need for you to play the settling game and let’s face it at some point in some other relationship you’ve already done that and it just didn’t work. Your values help you to become aligned with your purpose which presents you with the vision to fulfill your destiny. When you suppress your values you lose who you are resulting in feelings of depression, inadequacy, and even failure. The life you share with your mate is meant to intentionally impact and influence you both causing growth from the inside out. Being authentic at all times in all of your relationships keeps you from diminishing who you are and being able to live out your life purpose.

Comment by Alasha Bennett on November 27, 2011 at 7:24pm

Here is another share from one of my singles...he writes...

I really hate when woman ask me how come I'm not married and that leads to questions about my ex-wife or any ex-girlfriend I've ever known just on the first date. For me I don't know you well enough and I'm private until I fee comfortable telling you that info.

Coach Response: At times it may not be easy to talk about who we are and where we come from but it is essential to finding a suitable mate. Scouting out a compatible match can take some time so being upfront, honest and asking questions allows one to get pertinent information to make an informed decision about how they want to proceed with a potential relationship. Don't forget the faster one gains insight about a person from what is reveled through questioning the faster one can make the appropriate choice based on what they are looking for. Besides, no one wants to date someone for 3 months to find out something they could have found out on date number one which saves everyone time and energy.

Comment by Alasha Bennett on November 23, 2011 at 12:59pm

Have you ever said this statement to yourself….

 

Single Myth #4

“No one wants me; I’m not good enough or attractive enough to be loved”

The mind is a tricky thing it can cause more grief than one can handle at times. Naturally, we see the worst in ourselves and we project those feelings with our words, body language and actions onto other people. When we learn to accept ourselves from the inside out and love who we are, others see that and are magnetically attracted to us. It is possible to retrain our minds to see the person we most desire to be and we want others to see. You are beautiful inside and out and you deserve to be with someone who believes that as well. You are enough and you are worthy to be loved for who you are and not in spite of.

Comment by Alasha Bennett on November 21, 2011 at 3:28pm

Hi ladies just wanted to share something with you all from one of my singles. Many of us seem to have this issue and so I thought you all would be interested in my response...she writes...

Wow OK don't kill me...but call it an obsession..or compulsion...i don't know...but i HAVE to check my phone! I have to feel for it every few minutes..is it in my pocket? shockwhich pocket? i hit the button to take it out of sleep mode..what time is it?check the time. I don't wear a watch.shock Im 30 but i have a lot of responsibility on me. Both parents are in NY..& disabled. Did one of them text or call me? Is it an emergency? sad And last but in no particular order i have a demanding job... Is this part of the reason im single...PROBABLY!!! *now i will admit im a bit more layed back then most so it wouldnt bother me too much if a potential date did it to me..so long as its not a super long text reply or a full blown convo at the table. I certainly wouldnt do that either....

Coach Response...Yes, you may be experiencing an unhealthy relationship with your phone! smile It sounds like you lead a very busy life with your parents being disabled and your work being so demanding (let me just add there is nothing wrong with that if that is where your energies are focused right now). My question is....do you have time to actively be social or date? I come across this a lot with many singles who want to date and be in a relationship. They feel they just can't find the time to date and when they do they find their mind is in other places. One of the reasons for dating that many do not realize is the investment of time and energy they are pouring into not only the potential for a relationship but into another person. We must take care to be present in every moment in our lives and focus on the project or situation that is before us. To successfully find a suitable mate is no different from any other project we may encounter. We can only see a fruitful outcome when we set our mind and focus on what is before us letting other distractions take a back seat to that particular time. I have two children and believe me I know how hard it is not to call every ten minutes to see if they are okay but I have to remind myself to be present and give whatever is in front of me the attention it deserves.

Comment by Alasha Bennett on November 18, 2011 at 5:33pm

Have you ever said this statement to yourself….

 “I can’t be single and happy”  (Single Myth #5)

The truth of the matter is no one wants to be with someone who is not already happy with whom they are and is comfortable with where they are in life. One should not scout for a mate that will make them happy but one that will add to an already full, loving, fun filled life. Like attracts like, if you desire someone who knows who they are, what they want, and where they are going you too have to posses those same qualities and be satisfied with who you are where you are. We are continually on a path of progression and moving forward to achieve greatness in our lives and the lives of others. We have not arrived at our final destination therefore we are always looking to be better individuals but when we have the blueprint to where we want to go and we are living it, it shows up in who we are.

Comment by Alasha Bennett on November 9, 2011 at 8:12pm

I love that you are in a relationship and I welcome you to the group. Although every relationship is not the same, getting insight from those who are in healthy, loving unions is always welcome. Thanks for joining Kay

Comment by Kay Van Hoesen on November 9, 2011 at 7:44pm

Love that you started this group, Alasha! I'm happily in a loving relationship and not here for dating, but I hope you'll allow me to be part of your group just to stay in touch.

 

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