Loving yourself at whatever size you are NOW!

I am trying to get going with some housework and so I turned to itunes and my playlist of - "get me revved up to do something I don't want to do" songs.

The one that came up first was "All I Really Want" by Alanis Morissette. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/alanismorissette/allireallywant.html

And it occurred to me.... THIS IS PERFECT FOR THIS GROUP... and here I am happily procrastinating with you!

So listen to this song... Its basically about people criticizing you.

"I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it."

And her response is...

"There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter."

Well Honey THAT's what this group is about. Giving you the POWER to hunt the hunter. To take back your POWER - your SELF ESTEEM. From society, your authority figure, your colleagues, friends, frenimies... WOW frenimes... now THAT's a perfect word for the people we deal with.

You know - the assholes who give you a hard time - they are much easier to deal with. But... FRENIMIES!!!! Whew they are tough. Those are people who were your friend at one time, or perhaps someone who you need a working realtionship with for your career or group participation. These are people who you really actually respect but are not supportive of you, will undermine you with a smile and say something like "How fabulous - I so love your dress, how ever do you find things that show off those curves of yours?" You KNOW what a frenimie is, they are the ones who know you very well, know just where to put the axe in your tender spot. To try and undermine you just when you are taking a risk on something wonderful.

Well do you know what to do about them??? How do take back you power, your self esteem, and drive them absolutely crazy without even lifting a finger? Guess??????

LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!

Yes the best way to combat frenimies is to LOVE YOURSELF! To live a full rich life, to be who you are and go after what you want. Even if you DO fall flat on your face you find the strength to get up and come back stronger than ever.... THAT WILL FREAK THEM OUT!

You want to support them, seriously. I'm not kidding. You don't want to undermine their desires, plans, aspirations, even though you may be in the perfect position to do so. Even if you know where their sweet spot is and would just LOVE to return their axe. You know what - you do that? YOU LOOSE! Sure it will feel great for a short while, but if you are at all the wonderful, fabulous person I know you are - you will feel guilty, awful, horrible. And it will come back to bite you by undermining your own goals, self esteem - that date with ben and jerry will look more appealing, and that chocolate cake will still be calling out to you after the first, second and third piece..... Then you know what - THEY WIN - they've undermined your integrity, your conscience, your soul. And you can't achieve your goals because you are so busy fighting the demon guilt that you can't even start to face your own fears.

So the #1 way to undermine your self and make sure you don't live happily or succeed? Undermine others. Yup that's it. Go for it. Be a bitch, be sneaky, wreak havoc on their world. You can do it, you have the power, the ability, the desire.... But if you do you will loose your power, diminish your abilities and get in the way of your desires. Maybe not at first but after a while, it will. It may be a sweet victory but you will loose the war.

Do you think Lursa and Betor* wanted to loose the war????? Nope, but while they didn't care what people thought about their appearance, they were undermining, hostile, deceptive, evil bitches. Do I admire them? Their confidence and being who they are... yes. But that's it, they lost the war, their space ship was blown up and they were scattered to the stars.

You want to be among the stars, not blown up to them!

I don't have all the answers. I am still working through it myself. I'm (like a recent political ad said) like you. ;) But really I am. I'm just living day to day, moment to moment, trying to make good choices and fighting my own fears and insecurities.

So get a bat'leth** and join me in the true battle - the battle within. The battle for YOUR power. Do you want it. Well you can have it.

Join me and fight to LOVE YOURSELF! Qu Plah! (kaplah in english)***

I now raise by bat'leth to do the dishes.

*************************
For those of you who are not closet trekkies like me the footnotes below will enlighten you. :)

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lursa_and_B%27Etor#Duras_sisters


**http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_weapons_in_Star_Trek#Bat.27leth


***http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kaplah


The links aren't coming up through adding the link here so i'm put in the links myself.