Kissing on the first date? a Go or a No?
While this is fresh on my mind I want to raise the topic of kissing on the first date. My co-hosts Sue and John and our avid chatter Kay teased me about not getting a kiss out of my first date with this ultra cool frenchman (le sigh, yes a Real frenchman;).
More specifically that I myself in my fast paced, empowered American woman life..didn't initiate the kiss.
In the past I have been the initiator and always regretted it! Why? With all that instant gratification...I really missed out on the romance of waiting to be kissed. As this 'fast paced empowered american woman' I crave those moments when the man makes the first move and I actually feel feminine!
And and and, what about the anticipation...Has anyone read 'persuasion' by Jane Austin? That's rather extreme but the idea of how fun anticipation is, is worth considering.
1. What do you think about kissing on the first date (lets keep it to the dates that go well...I have other ideas about kissing guys you know you'll never see again, another topic for another day!)
2. How do you feel about the woman initiating the kiss?
3. How do men feel about women initiating the first kiss?
4. Or maybe he wasn't into me...do you think I'll get that first ever real French Kiss???
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Alasha Bennett on -
Crystal, this an excellent question. There is much debate about men initiating physical contact on a first date. I recently went out with a man that asked if he could kiss me at the end of the night and if that wasn't bad enough when I went to kiss him on the cheek he turned his face so I could kiss him on the lips...what a turn off!
I tell my coaching clients to guard their personal space and do what feels right for them but for me I think it is presumptuous to think that I am that type of girl that introduces what can be considered as an intimate moment with someone I have just met.
Now lets be honest ladies don't we rate a lot of other things from that first kiss? Being the wonderful beings we are we fantasize about that guy that will sweep us off our feet right? But if we never give him the chance to do that by not setting up boundaries we will always get what we have gotten; guys that put the physical aspect of the union in the forefront.
My question is...now what will the guy be expecting on the second date? We must be careful about the signals we are giving men and remember how men view physical contact especially without a relationship being established.
There is a statistic about kissing that American women kiss about 80 men before they tie the not. I don't know how true that is but why are we kissing all these toads before we get to our prince charming. Maybe it's because we are not taking the time to get to know these men intellectually to see if they are a match for us before we start a physical relationship.
Personally I don't kiss men on the first date and any man that introduces any sexual innuendos is not a match for me. I do have to tell you that in my dating life I find men are more respectful, impressed and are willing to learn more about you when you put sex on the back burner and make friendship the priority!
~Alasha Bennett, The Dating Mechanic
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